Hello and welcome to the latest issue of Fervent Curiosity. My name is Victor De Anda and this is my newsletter.
Can you remember the first time you got rejected? For me, it was the third grade. I was in love with a girl named Mary Jane. She had ocean-blue eyes and brown hair tied into pigtails. When she smiled, a dimple appeared on her rosy cheek. She was the bee’s knees, as they say.
Did she know who I was? Not even close. I wasn’t on her radar, even though we sat in the same classroom all day, every day. How could I get her to notice me? I was too shy to go up and talk to her at lunch. What if I introduced myself and she just ignored me? That would’ve been embarrassing. So instead, I did the next best thing—I wrote her a note.
Back in those days, there was no texting or posting on social media. No, this was strictly analog. Using a pencil or a ballpoint pen, you scrawled out a message in your best handwriting on ruled notebook paper, folded it up five or ten times, and asked your classmates to pass it on to the recipient.
I thought about the contents of my note to Mary Jane for at least a few hours that fateful day. My note would be a masterpiece of prose, a poem that would touch her heart and soul. With my writing, I’d sum up all of my hopes and dreams for life, and ask her to share it with me. What did my note to her say? It was simple and brief. It read: “Mary Jane: Will you marry me? Signed, Victor.”
After writing this message, I folded it up and handed it to my classmate. I looked on with anticipation as the note passed from person to person in the middle of our Social Studies lesson. Mary Jane sat at the table next to mine, a world away, it seemed.
The note finally made it into her hands. I watched her unfold it and read my message. Without even the slightest expression on her face, she scribbled a response and folded it back up. The note then made its way back to me.
After what seemed like an eternity, the note was in my hands again. Did Mary Jane also want to spend the rest of her life with me? To share our experiences together? After some hesitation, I unfolded the note. There, in smeared red ink was her response. It was also short and to the point. It said: “NO.”
I was heartbroken, and it would take me a week to get over the feeling. I didn’t realize it at the time, but this was my first rejection. Let’s discuss.
An all too familiar feeling
Whether you’re just starting out as a writer, or have published numerous books, you’ve experienced rejection. We all have. Is there any writer who hasn’t? These days, does Stephen King ever get rejected from his editor when he turns in a book? Maybe? Does he ever hear, “What the fuck is this, Steve?” I’d like to think so. No one’s above rejection, right?
When I first got serious about writing and submitting my short stories, I’ll admit, I was afraid of rejection. How could someone not like my story? How dare they turn me down? Then I slowly began to realize that editors weren’t rejecting ME, they were rejecting the work. Two completely separate things.
Rejection is so subjective. What one editor doesn’t care for, another might like. A story rejection just gives you the opportunity to submit it somewhere else. Rejection doesn’t necessarily mean your work sucks. Try not to take it so personally. No one said the writing life was an easy one. Where else can you pour your heart into something and have an editor summarily reject it? It either works or it doesn’t for someone. To coin a phrase from writer Jordan Harper, “that’s why it’s called art, friendo.”
At least they’re not rejecting your face
Imagine pursuing a career as an actor. What a tough business. When casting agents and producers tell you no, they ARE rejecting you. You may not have the right look. You might be too short or too tall. How do aspiring actors deal with this? You can’t change your face or the length of your legs, unless you do something drastic, right?
At least with writing, you can revise your words if a story keeps getting rejected. But should you? I often see rejection as a note that something in the story may not be working. If just one editor rejects your story, that doesn’t mean you should revise it. Send it somewhere else and see what happens. If THIRTY-FIVE editors reject your story, then something might be wrong with it, or just isn’t clicking.
At the very least, rejection helps me look at a story again with fresh eyes. Just do the best you can. Revise or not, it’s up to you. If it’s a story you believe in and don’t think one word needs to be changed, send it to five more places. See what happens. Sometimes I’ll tweak a story just a little and send it out again. I’ve never rewritten a story from scratch after it’s been rejected once. I just send it somewhere else.
Keep swinging
But what if a story’s been rejected ten, twenty, thirty times? Then what do you do? Is the story badly written, or is it just not working for editors? Is it too much, or not enough? What I try to do with every story I write is to swing for the fences. Push the envelope. You never know what might happen. Why not go for it? As writer Craig Clevenger says, “Write each story as if it were your last.” I’m trying to follow those wise words.
What happens if you swing for the fences, but no editor wants the story? I’ve subbed some batshit crazy stories for anthology calls, but one out of five gets accepted. Why? Who knows. Maybe the story I sent was too much. Or not enough. Or maybe it just didn’t make sense to the editor. The point is, you never know why your story gets rejected. Just don’t take it personally. That is the road to ruin, and one of the hardest lessons to learn. At least it was for me.
I’ve even gotten to the point in my writing career where I set yearly goals for rejections. Does anyone else do this? I wear the number of rejections I get like a badge of honor. It’s all you can do to push away the pain, am I right? I find that gamifying your rejections makes the medicine go down easier.
To walk the walk, I’ll tell you how many short story rejections I’ve had in the last two years: 97. The number of acceptances? 12. I’m no good at math, but those odds aren’t the best in the world. That’s just how the writing cookie crumbles.
And I’m not even talking about the criticism of your published work. When your stuff does get published and lives out in the world, it will receive varying degrees of praise as well as hate. Again, it’s all part of the game. I’ll talk about criticism in an upcoming post.
It’s about time for me to wrap this up, so I’ll let you get on with your life. But before I go, a great quote:
“I love my rejection slips. They show me I try.”—Sylvia Plath
What are your thoughts on rejection? How do you handle it?
What I’m Reading:
I’ve started reading BECAUSE THE NIGHT by James Ellroy. His prose always crackles, and this book’s no different. I grabbed it from one of my favorite secondhand bookstores in the area. Don’t you just love what you find at a used bookstore?
What I’m Writing:
Working on some new stories, and revising others in the hopes of sending them out soon.
ICYMI: December has been a great month for new stories from me. My story “Ahuizotl” is in the Dark Waters Vol. 2 anthology, get your copy here, I’ve got a flash piece “Frank is typing…” out at Roi Fainent here, and finally, my Arctic thriller story “Diamond Dust” is out now over at Yellow Mama here.
What I’m Watching:
Another recent rewatch for me: BARTON FINK. It’s been a while since I saw this, what a movie. Wonderful performances from the entire cast, which includes John Turturro, John Goodman, John Mahoney, Judy Davis, Tony Shalhoub, Michael Lerner, etc. Set in the 1940’s, this tale of a New York playwright who comes out to Hollywood to write “for the pictures” is equal parts comedy and dread. How do you make a movie about writing feel interesting to an audience? This is definitely a way to do it. If you’re a fan of the Coen Brothers and haven’t seen this film yet, please do so as soon as possible and get that Barton Fink feeling in you!
That about does it for this week. Wishing you and yours the happiest of holidays. If you liked this post, please restack it, give it a mention, or share it on social media. You can find all my links here.
Great message, especially at this time of year. My story is that the last time a short story of mine was rejected, I was the editor who rejected it. I was in the final stages of editing THE KILLING RAIN anthology this time last year, and I had written a long, sorry, overly interior tale that, once I stepped back from it for a bit, I realized was not up to par with the other stories I had accepted. I tried my best to salvage it with a massive rewrite that … made me like it even less. So I pulled the plug on it. And it was the right call. But it hurts.
I used to work in advertising. In a direct mail campaign, if you get a 5% response rate, it's a smashing success! I keep that in mind when I look at the rejection vs acceptance ratio. It keeps my head straight. And yes, it's a game, throw stuff against the wall, see what sticks. I placed a story recently (will be published next year) that was rejected by 2 great pubs for radically different reasons, yes they gave me a reason! One said it was too violent—there's children abuse in there, not described, not graphic, but it's at the root of the story. The other mag said it was too warm-hearted, too sweet. I thought, OK, no need to revise, just need to find people who'll get what I'm trying to do. Didn't change a word... a great pub took it. C'est la vie!